Brisk walks, through where trouble stalks.
July 1, 2009
Go Diego Go!
According to the picture above, people do jumping jacks when they get robbed.
Have you ever forgotten what the stars look like?
I got out of my car one night, after closing at Starbucks, and looked up at the stars. I don’t think I remember seeing that many, then again it’s been a while since I’ve really looked at them. I remember in my last year of college, I took an intro to Astronomy as an elective. Why? you ask…Wellfor 2 reasons. One I needed to pick up an elective to graduate, and secondly it was the only elective offered that had any potential in helping me pick up chicks. Granted it’s never worked, but then again I’ve never really tried it out, it’s too cliche anyways. Still a cliche subject like the stars helps you pick up more chicks than learning different computer languages. I’ve never known someone to Java script a girl off of her feet, or C+ their way into a woman’s heart. I suppose girl appeal ended up having not to much to do with it, since in the end it was an easy course and I was interested in learning more about my favourite planet, the sun. We watched a lunar eclipse one night during the course, and saw Saturn. This was moderately disappointing since Saturn was just a shining dot in the sky, much like every other star. No rings, no aliens, nothin!
I learned that there are some pretty big things out there in the universe. There are stars that are 600 times bigger than our sun, pretty big considering that our sun can hold about 1 million earths inside of it. Which really makes me realize that my muscles aren’t quite the biggest thing in the universe unlike Ryan’s advertisement….but are a close second. You may be wondering what it’s like having a supernova lurking between your shoulder and forearm, it’s pretty much like a normal day of walking around at a flea market. Except for when you go up to that creepy guy selling those vintage acrylic handbags, you have the power to make him give you whatever price you want.
Those bags are quite tricky. They give you the illusion of style and strength, but have you ever tried to run out of a bank with one filled with wrapped $100 bills? I did once, and it totally didn’t work out. For 2 reasons, number one it makes you very noticeable in a crowd when you have a brightly coloured psychedelic patterned bag, and B the aged acrylic is so brittle that it disintegrates once you toss the bundles of bills in, or rolls of pennies.
Rolls of coins can actually be convenient, if you want to use a bus as your getaway car. Although public transit is quite unreliable, unless your plan allows for 15 minutes error either way. Plus they’re not very fast or great handling vehicles. They are better than asking a friend who can’t drive a manual gearbox to drive the getaway car which just so happens to be manual…at least the police are laughing when they catch you.
On foot though allows for the greatest mobility. I find that going on a brisk walk before a bank robbery is the perfect warm up, gets the heart pumping and puts a smile on your face. Then you can jog off with your hip bag filled with bills, and not worry about cramping up when they release the dogs.
Oh and Micheal Jackson, secrets revealed, frozen yogurt is not an effective anti-aging or post plastic surgery healing ointment. Just thought i’d add that in there to get a few extra search hits on the blog.
Why not?
